Well its been a tough week. For those who suffer from Rheumatoid arthritis, you know what I mean. Its the kind of disease that always shadows you, no matter how "well" you feel. It hides around corners, ready to pounce and let you know that no matter what treatment you are on, its going to get you and it has infinite patience.
The drug treatments batter your body-frail skin, nausea, tiredness, aching and suppressed immune system etc etc.I often ask myself-why me? What have I done? Well the answers are-why not? and nothing. I park in the disabled car parking spots as I can no longer walk long distances or carry loads such as groceries. You see the judgemental looks from people because I don't look completely decrepit. It used to bother me, especially the snide remarks from these medical experts who don't see the pain and suffering.
One day I realised that what these people think does not matter. The snide remarks make them feel better and I feel pity for people who need to feel good by putting others down. These types of people don't want to know the facts as then they would have to face up to themselves as to what kind of people they really are - not very nice. The truth is I love and am loved by those who matter. My family gives me the strength to fight this disease day in and day out. I go next week to see my rheumatologist. Wish me luck.